According to Moonalice legend, the great explorers Lewis & Clark might never have gotten home from their trek across the continent had it not been for the Moonalice tribe. The explorers got lost west of Yellowstone Park – in present day Victor, ID - and were rescued by Witchway Moonalice, matriach of the local Moonalice tribe. Although Witchway’s story has disappeared from history, it lives on in the Moonalice legend. Here is just a bit of it:
Witchway was born some time around 1776. For reasons no one can explain, every member of her tribe operated on a different calendar . . . and no one kept records. All we know is that Witchway showed great promise as a child, debuting as first bassist in the tribal band at age four. She also demonstrated the greenest of thumbs. While her hemp was not much use for rope, its quick maturation and prodigious THC levels led to her tribe’s first great encounter with Confusionism.
When Lewis & Clark stumbled upon the tribal farming grounds in July 1806, they thought they might have found a new product that might compete with tobacco. Lewis & Clark put some in their pipes and smoked it. A fierce attack of the munchies immediately sent them scampering for snack food. Soon they were completely lost. Fortunately, they still had some of the interesting green flower they had found on Witchway’s farm. Just before they ran out, Witchway found Lewis & Clark. They were making funny faces at Lewis’ pet Newfoundland (Seaman) and giggling.
Witchway spent a few days teaching the explorers how best to enjoy hemp products, after which she put them back on their way home. Unfortunately, Lewis & Clark spaced their stash a few nights later. The good news is that they got home safely. The rest, as we say, is legend.